By Jenny Link
Have you ever noticed how your heart races when you’re scared or excited but slows down when you’re relaxed? Your heart isn’t just a pump—it’s also a mirror of your nervous system, constantly responding to emotions, stress, and even the pace or depth of your breath
Your heart offers incredible insight into your well-being. How your heart responds to physical challenges gives us a measure of cardiovascular health, and how it responds to emotional changes gives us a measure of nervous system health, or resilience.
One of the most insightful ways to understand this connection is through Heart Rate Variability (HRV)—the tiny fluctuations in the time between each heartbeat. Unlike your heart rate, which you can feel change when you go from resting to running, HRV is much subtler. It can only be detected using medical devices like EKGs or heart monitors.
So why does HRV matter? It tells us how adaptable our nervous system is. A high HRV means you can efficiently switch between “go mode” (stress response) and “recovery mode” (relaxation). A low HRV, on the other hand, suggests that your body struggles to bounce back from stress, which over time can contribute to fatigue, anxiety, and other adverse health outcomes.
HRV, Stress, and the Nervous System
Your heart is constantly reacting to changes in other systems of the body as well as environmental changes. This happens through communication from your autonomic nervous system (ANS), which has three key players:
- The Sympathetic Nervous System (Fight-or-Flight): Activates when you’re stressed, increasing heart rate, blood pressure, and alertness.
- The Parasympathetic Nervous System (Rest-and-Digest): Helps you recover, slowing your heart rate and promoting relaxation.
- The Enteric Nervous System: Coordinates digestion, absorption of nutrients, and gut function.
A well-balanced nervous system means that after a stressful event, your body quickly shifts from fight-or-flight back into a relaxed state. This adaptability is what HRV measures—your body’s ability to rise to challenges and recover efficiently. We all react to stressful events differently…what is stressful for me might not even register as something noticeable for you. I might feel so stressed before a presentation that I feel sick, but you may enjoy the opportunity to talk in front of a crowd. We may react more noticeably to a stressful event if we are already running on a depleted nervous system: if we didn’t sleep well the night before, we’re worried about a bill that’s due, a family member is sick. All of these put a strain on our nervous system and make it more difficult to come back down to a parasympathetic, or calm, state.
It’s important that we’re able to access both the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems. But how long each one is activated has a direct impact on our well-being. Ideally, a stressor comes, our sympathetic nervous system turns on long enough to get us out of trouble, increasing heart rate and blood pressure, heightening our senses, and then the parasympathetic system kicks in. Our blood pressure lowers, heart rate slows down, we start to feel like ourselves again until the next stressor – whether it seems big or small – comes along.
What Your Heart Says About Your Resilience
Think of your heart as a skilled dancer, constantly adjusting its rhythm to match the pace of life. Some moments call for an energetic tempo—like when you’re startled or sprinting—while others invite a slow, steady flow, such as when you’re relaxing after a long day. Heart Rate Variability (HRV) is a measure of how well your body’s Nervous System is adapting to these shifts.
A low HRV means your heart is sticking to a rigid beat, unable to adjust smoothly to changes in stress. This lack of flexibility can indicate that your body is struggling to recover from daily challenges, making you more prone to fatigue, anxiety, and even long-term health issues like high blood pressure. The faster your heart beats, the less opportunity there is for variability, leaving little room for resilience.
On the other hand, a high HRV is a sign of adaptability—your body can rise to challenges and then return to a relaxed state with ease. Your nervous system is constantly scanning your environment, deciding whether you’re safe or under threat. Our Nervous System helps to categorize the input: am I safe? Am I in danger? Is my life at risk? If your nervous system can accurately process these signals, then activate the Sympathetic and Parasympathetic Nervous Systems to appropriate levels accordingly, we would expect a high HRV. You’re able to move through life with more ease.
Building a Relationship with Emotion and Breath
Our goal is for our bodies to be in a coherent state – alert but calm. Rising to challenges and then settling down shortly after. Our bodies thrive on efficiency, conserving energy when possible and using it wisely when needed. People with high HRV tend to be more energy-efficient, bouncing back quickly after stressful events, whether it’s an argument with a loved one or a jump scare in a movie. However, when we stay in a heightened stress state for too long, it drains our system, making it harder to return to a place of balance.
But stress isn’t just about external events—it’s deeply tied to our emotions, which can either drain or recharge us. You can probably guess which emotions fall into each category:
- Draining emotions like anger, fear, and frustration are linked to low HRV, making us feel exhausted, scattered, and less able to focus. Prolonged time in these states can lead to burnout, memory fog, and reduced performance.
- Renewing emotions like gratitude, love, and courage support high HRV, improving creativity, problem-solving, and emotional resilience.
One way we can build resilience is by tuning into our emotions—noticing how they show up in the body and how long we hold onto them. Every emotion is an embodied experience. If we spend time observing our emotions, we can start to notice patterns: when I’m stressed my chest and stomach feel tight, when I’m nervous I feel shaky and have a knot in my throat. When we sense these physical signals of emotions, we can begin to self-regulate and guide ourselves back into a Parasympathetic state.
We can start by just quietly sitting with the emotion, then identifying any imagery that might come up. “My anxiety looks like a green tumbleweed in my chest.” Then as we focus on the image, can we invite it to become less sharp, less vivid. “As I sit with my anxiety, I’m noticing the tumbleweed is starting to untangle a little bit and the green doesn’t seem quite as bright. It’s still there, just not as intense.” Once the emotion and it’s accompanying imagery have calmed down a bit, we may feel better equipped to go on with our tasks of the day.
Breath is also a powerful tool to build resilience and support coherence, especially when combined with mindfulness. Using a 1:1 ratio of inhale to exhale is a great place to start:
- Inhale for a count of 3, exhale for a count of three. As you get comfortable you can work your way up to a count of 5.
- Now, see how fluid you can make your breath. Can you blend where the inhale stops, and the exhale starts? Where the exhale stops, and the inhale starts?
- Now focus your attention at your heart center. Imagine your breath flowing in and out of heart center.
- Observe your breath. Does your breath have a color? A texture? A temperature? Does it have crisp borders or soft?
- Continue 1:1 breathing at a pace that feels comfortable until you’re ready to bring focus back to your body and the space you’re in
At the end of the session, notice how you feel. Can you locate new areas of softness, where tension has released. Do you feel lighter, calmer? Notice and be with those observations for a few moments. Remember you can come back to them at any time using this breath practice.
We can also combine 1:1 breath with a mantra; breathing in a word that represents something that serves us, breathing out something that doesn’t.
- Inhale calm, exhale worry
- Inhale love, exhale doubt
- Inhale peace, exhale tension
Again, pause and notice any differences you feel after your breath practice. Hold that feeling and remember you can return to it whenever you need to.
Filling Up Your Resilience Piggy Bank
Think of these practices as deposits into your Resiliency Piggy Bank. When you’re feeling good, regularly practicing these techniques helps strengthen your nervous system’s ability to shift into a calm, regulated state with less effort. The more you practice, the more efficient your body becomes at finding balance—using less energy to recover from stress and maintaining a coherent, adaptable state.
But resilience isn’t just about preparation—it’s also about having reserves when you need them most. In moments of stress or emotional overwhelm, these same strategies can help bring you back to center, guiding your nervous system out of fight-or-flight and into a restorative, parasympathetic state.
The best part? Every breath, every moment of mindfulness, and every act of self-awareness builds upon itself. Over time, you’ll notice that your system recovers faster, stressors feel less overwhelming, and you’re better equipped to handle life’s ups and downs with greater ease and clarity.
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